I come from what you might call a colorful background. My mom is an American Jew with Ashkenazi heritage, and my dad is an Iranian immigrant who grew up in a Muslim family. My childhood caretaker and de facto grandmother was a practicing Catholic who made me Easter baskets—and I went to a Quaker school, where we practiced silent meditation on a weekly basis.

I wish I could say that all the disparate aspects of my formative years melded together into one rich and cohesive whole, but the truth is...

Fitz always fought back. But he was tired. So he squinted at the Alma Mater from the steps of the Low Library and looked for the owl. Legend has it that those who find it hidden in the folds of the statue's robe will have great academic success. Some even say that if a Columbia boy spots it on his first try, he will go on to marry a Barnard girl. Fitz learned this during his lunch break, eating a turkey sandwich at the foot of the sculpture, when he overheard it from a brown-faced boy with a "Columbia" lanyard badge shepherding a small crowd...    {Con't.}