And up against a corrugated iron fence—we having drifted into Long Island City by now—he stood in red denim jeans; we had had to wander around for a while to find the right light and to balance the glare off the Manhattan skyline and the river, but at last we were able to set about interviewing him, Mozart, who spoke for a solid thirty or forty minutes. Suzie, our photographer, captured numerous fine moments, and her pictures will adjoin the extended text that will appear in the spring issue of Buzzard Magazine, but for now—because who can resist a tease—a little bit from our conversation with Wolfgang:


Buzzard Magazine (Alex Spencer Smith): So what do you think of New York?
Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Mozart: I don't know. I like it I guess.
BM-ASS: What's your favorite borough?
JCWTM: I don't know.
BM-ASS: Are you a Brooklyn guy?
JCWTM: Philadelphia? Detroit? Those are my favorite—I think—Kansas City—I mean New York is over, right? I mean right? How can you do it? The internet.
BM-ASS: Are you already moving out of the city? You just got here.
JCWTM: I don't know. Maybe I'll go to Detroit. Or Kansas City. Charlie Parker, you know.
BM-ASS: Is he an influence?
JCWTM: I don't know.
BM-ASS: What about your riff with Bach?
JCWTM: You mean "rift"? I don't have a rift with Bach. I get irritated, yeah, because he's overplayed, like he's the only thing emblematic of that era, and I—while I have all this other competition, and stuff, but Bach has been a mad, early influ—I admire him, I've always said that.
BM-ASS: Who would win in a battle between // Bach—
JCWTM: I hate those kinds of questions. I don't know. "Who would win." I don't know. Who would win? I don't know, Bach?
BM-ASS: You mentioned Charlie Parker—
JCWTM: Charlie Parker mentioned himself. ...Like he, Charlie, like he mentions himself. He doesn't need me to mention him. You know what I—
BM-ASS: Some people are calling you delusional—
JCWTM: Why, because I—that I'm interested in things? Yeah, and so I do them.
BM-ASS: But you—
JCWTM: No I'm not finished. I am interested in things. Nobody has the right.... Why is James Franco allowed to do shit and I'm...James Franco is a friend of mine, but....
BM-ASS: Do you own a television?
JCWTM: Do I own...of course...what? Of course, of course, look at me. I own a lot of things.
BM-ASS: What's your favorite song?
JCWTM: I am going crazy man; I am going crazy.
BM-ASS: What?
JCWTM: I'm going crazy. No, don't worry about it. What's that? Nah—I mean, wow. Did you see that? How low will those birds fly? Jesus. I mean Jesus. How do they know not to flow into anything? I mean "fly". I meant...I don't really work well with others, you know? And I don't think anybody does. It's just, I don't even like, I barely like the company. I'm not like others. I don't have this fear, this fear of death, see? Charlie Parker, you know? Cool cat, sad story. But still, you know? How can you tell me that's not the way to be? I know it's horrible. I hear he wanted other, alive, but dead, I mean, how is that not the supreme way to be? I'm being serious, I tell ya. So get out of my face. ...I'm being serious ya.