Firstly, I would provide incentive: my reading public had to know what God's country looked like, so I endeavored to describe it. I returned to the abyss of sage...jumping off into oblivion...the swollen rivers that meandered and plaited into taunting strands.the Plains that open before the traveler flat and wide and hollow as the space between the dirt and infinity...the buffalo that blacken the range and those landmarks every pioneer knows: Chimney Rock, Independence Rock, Fort Laramie, Soda Springs, and the wild rivers and the canyons they lash through solid rock beyond.

Secondly, I would remind my reading public that God's country yields its bounty—the vastest, richest bounty man or beast has ever known—to those enterprising enough to reach it. I would offer advice on how the enterprising man might provision himself and his family.

I exhorted Easterners to "exchange the sterile hills, bleak mountains, chilling winds, and piercing cold of their native lands, for the deep, rich, and productive soil, and uniform, mild and delightful climate, of this unparalleled region." I assured them California was a place that could "in all respects, to promote the unbounded happiness and prosperity, of civilized and enlightened man."

Thirdly, I would describe how he might get there practically:

The most direct route, for the California emigrants, would be to leave the Oregon route, about two hundred miles east from Fort Hall; thence bearing west southwest, to the Salt lake; and thence continuing down to the Bay of St. Francis, by the route just described.

This is to say that I merely suggested going south of the Great Salt Lake and avoiding the arduous trip up to Fort Hall. Yes, the climate would be less hospitable and the landscape less verdant, but if provisioned properly, it should be fine! All they needed was lumber: "All this portion of the route, from Fort Laramie to Fort Hall, like that east of Fort Laramie, is, usually entirely destitute of timber, but as a general thing, sufficient is found for fuel."

Such a simple piece of advice! Break off the Oregon Trail a tad prematurely, if you're going to California, which, a cursory glance at a map will confirm, is not as far north. I cannot say this is anything quite revolutionary and it was not anything I devoted too much time to in my guide, but it was undeniably a ware. Though not available in McLoughlin's general stores, it could be sold nonetheless and, goddammit, I determined I would be the one to sell it first!

[The fiddler may now elect to play "Loop #6, Trails"]

Why, HELL YES, it's a shortcut! And I claimed it as mine to sell! Nothing is more American than a shortcut! Get you out there as fast as you can, Pilgrim, Pioneer! As fast as yon erstwhile Continental regular deserves to be in the West that is his! The original ware was California herself, but this was no doubt an improvement: a shortcut to her!